Chocobo
by Phosphate-Blues
Summary: Some Valenwind drabbles all, in some way, related to chocobos.
1. Meeting

"…Chief what is that?" Vincent stared at the thing behind the fence.

"It's a chocobo." Cid smiled at it. "Beautiful ain't she? Took me six tries to get a hatchling this color."

"She's …pink."

"Ah know." Cid beamed at the bird.

"Why do you even have a chocobo?" Vincent felt his eyes water from looking at the brightly colored bird standing in direct sunlight.

"For kicks mostly." Cid shrugged. "Ah raise and breed 'em for the hell of it."

"You have more?" It wasn't so much a question as a semi-horrified statement.

"Sure. Jilly here was one of my first so she always come to greet me." Cid raised his hand and the chocobo pushed her head against it.

"Jilly?"

"Yeah, Jillybean." Cid ruffled the pink feathers. "Shera named her."

"……" Vincent felt his eye twitch.

"I need to go check on the others, you wanna come?" Cid smiled at the older man.

Jilly turned and eyed Vincent, tilting her head from side to side before looking back at Cid. The blonde raised an eyebrow at the bird.

"Well?" He asked Jilly. She looked at Vincent again before kwehing loudly before grabbing the bandana off of Vincent.

"She likes you." Cid grinned at the startled gunman. "C'mon, lets go see the others." Cid grabbed his flesh hand and pulled him towards the barn. "Dinah and Buck were laying a few weeks ago. I wanna see if its hatched yet."

Vincent just allowed himself to be dragged towards the building, slightly baffled as to how the loud, crude pilot could possibly have the patience to raise chocobos.


	2. Meating

"Cid, why is the annoying woman from down the street standing in our yard yelling at the house?" Vincent felt he should be more surprised than he was.

"Ah don't know." Cid shrugged. "Ah stopped listenin' to her bitching three days ago."

"Well she seems very upset."

"Shit, is her damned mutt botherin' mah birds again?" He finally turned away pot on the stove and headed for the door. "Will yah make sure that doesn' burn?"

Vincent moved to the pot but stood where he could look out the kitchen window, watching as Cid approached the woman. He only raised an eyebrow when she began waving her arms. Reaching over the sink he unlatched the window and pushed it open slightly.

"-and you're beast of an animal!" She screamed. "I'll have him put down!"

"He ain't done nothing wrong." Cid glared at her. "Now git off mah lawn before I turn on the sprinklers."

"I'll have you arrested you pig! You and that monster you brought with you!"

"You shut yer damned mouth!" Cid hissed. "Yah want to bitch bout me and mah birds fine! But don't yah dare insult Vince!"

"I'll have you both out of here by this afternoon! Mark my words Highwind!" She turned and stormed off.

The door closed with a slam behind Cid. "Crazy broad."

"What was that about?" Vincent leaned back against the counter. "She seemed more upset than usual."

"Well yah know how her fool dog's been messin' with my chocobos?" Vincent nodded. "Well apparently she's suin' me cause Rasput got tired of it and ate the damn thing."


	3. Veggies

"How's it going?" Vincent asked when the front door slammed closed.

"She ain't eatin'!" Cid stomped into the living room and threw himself into a chair. "Damn bird refuses to eat anythin' I offer her!"

"I'm sorry." Vincent turned the page of his book. "Maybe she would be more willing to eat if she thought it was alive?"

"That only works fer carnivores!"

Vincent finally looked up from his book. "Chief her father ate a dog."

"He didn't even eat the whole thing!" Cid glared at his lover. "Why can't anyone just leave that alone?!"

"You're right I'm sorry." He went back to his book. "Her father ate _most_ of a dog."

"And he only did it cause the mutt got too close to his nest!"

"Yes, Chief I know." Vincent nodded absently. "Why don't you just try it? And then if it doesn't work we'll figure something else out."

"Fine." Cid grumbled, lifting himself out of his chair. "I'll go wave the damn greens until she eats them."

The door opened much more timidly twenty minutes later and Vincent smirked at his page. "It worked didn't it?"

"Shut up Vince."


	4. Balloon

"Rick you put that damn thing down!" Cid screamed at the bird perched on the garage roof. "I will get the damn hose!"

Vincent stood in the kitchen watching the neighbors gathering to stare at his lover yelling at the chocobo. Sipping his coffee, the gunslinger raised an eyebrow as a mother dragged her small child away.

"Language must be getting bad." Shera commented lazily.

"Indeed." Vincent nodded. "Why is Rick on the roof?"

"No idea." She poured herself a cup of tea. "How's your morning been?"

"Fine until Cid started screaming at the bird."

"RICK GET OFF THE DAMN ROOF RIGHT NOW!"

"He's in fine form today." She grinned over the top of her mug. "Are those balloons across the street?"

"Kid's birthday." Vincent grimaced. "He's getting the hose."

"Oh fun." Shera chuckled. "I'm heading out, watch him try get him down. You coming?"

"I think it'd be best to stay inside." He heard the door close behind her and sighed loudly. Why couldn't one day go by without them causing a spectacle?

The loud shrieking of a chocobo was heard and a mass of yellow rushed by the window. Rick picked himself up and warked angrily at Cid before chomping down onto the balloon he held in his mouth.

Cid's cursing and the sound of a choking bird filled the air for a few moments. Vincent unlatched the window and pushed it open and leaned forward. "Chief? He okay?"

"Yeah, he'll be fine." Cid sighed examining the piece of rubber in his hands. "Ya think he'd stop eating balloons but he does it every year."


	5. Boombox

"So where's Cid?" Tifa finally asked.

"I have no idea." Vincent glared at his tea.

"Did you have another fight?" She sighed and put her cup down. Cloud decided it would be best to just stay silent and focus on the terrible glop in his cup. Vincent could not make good tea.

"He's just such an insufferable idiot!" The gunslinger growled. "He left this morning and hasn't come back."

"Well shouldn't you look for him? Or at least call him?"

"No."

Tifa stared at him. "He could have gotten himself into trouble."

"Fine. Good for him." Vincent huffed like a child.

"What did you even argue about?"

"I don't know! It just happened!" He growled. "He's just been so snappy lately!"

"Uh-huh." She glanced out the window and shrieked in surprise.

Vincent pointed his gun before sighing. "Its just Rasput."

"Why is there blood on his feathers?" Tifa demanded, Cloud continued ignoring his surroundings.

"Maybe he ate a squirrel." Vincent shrugged and opened the window. "What do you want?"

The bird warked loudly and placed a boombox on the windowsill. It stared at the gunslinger expectantly.

"What?" He glared at the chocobo. It kwehed and pressed the play button, nearly knocking the machine off the sill.

I need words to tell you 'bout my pounding heart

Four dollar words that make a guy sound smart

Oh, I guess that's why they invented Shakespeare!

His articulations of a lover's palpitations are so keen!

Vincent slammed the stop button down trying to suppress the smile on his face. "He's an idiot."


	6. Sick

Vincent glared at the thermometer in his hand, as if blaming it for his predicament. "101.4 degrees. Sorry Chief but you need to stay in bed."

"Ah can't stay in bed! Ah've got a ranch to run!" Cid sat up and promptly slumped back into his pillows.

"I can take care of things." He assured the pilot. "The chocobos have become more comfortable around me so I shouldn't have too much trouble right?"

"Ah don't know." Cid sighed. "Xena's been real antsy lately. Ah don't want yah ta get hurt."

"Chief it'll be fine." Vincent waved off the man's concern. "You just rest." He ignored the blonde's weak protests in favor of checking on the birds.

Jilly looked at him questioningly when he approached the fence, warking softly before padding over to him. "Hi Jilly." He stroked her large beak. "The Chief's sick so I'm looking after you today."

She blinked and kwehed at the other birds in the pen, gaining the attention of all of them. Vincent hoisted himself over the fence and into the ring, Cocolu pecking his shoulder lightly in greeting.

He groaned after looking over all the birds. "And where's Xena and Rick?" Vincent strode over to the barn and pushed the door open.

Rick turned towards him, yellow feathers bristling as he hissed at the man. "What's wrong?" He craned his neck to look behind him and finally spotted Xena, perched on a nest with an egg snuggled against her side.

She looked up at him and nuzzled Rick after a moment of hesitation. Vincent smiled slightly at the pair. "Well this explains the attitude recently."


	7. Birthday special

So thanks for all the reviews, I'm sorry I don't respond to them but I do appreciate them. Extra update for my friend's birthday.

* * *

"You do know its not my birthday right?" Vincent asked from his place against the doorframe.

"Ah know." Cid hummed as he continued frosting the cake.

"Then why are you pretending it is?"

"Cause yah won't tell me when it is so ah decided on a new one for yah." Cid grinned at him and made a shooing motion. "Now go away. Ah need to finish this and yur distractin' me."

Vincent slipped out the door and headed over to the corral. "You don't make a fuss about such silly things." He praised the chocobos. "You know its just another day."

The pink chocobo kwehed at him before trotting off to the barn returning a moment later to standing in front of Vincent. She nudged him until he held his hand out and dropped her favorite squeaky carrot into it.

He stared at the toy before sighing. "Thank you Jilly." She warked loudly and happily before pecking his forehead affectionately.


	8. Adaptation

"She's all yours for 30,000 gil." The man smiled charmingly at them.

"Ah'll give you 10,000." Cid said as he ran a hand over the birds neck. "Nothin' higher."

The man lost his smile. "Excuse me? She's a purebred purple mountain chocobo!"

"Nah she ain't." Cid tugged Vincent closer. "Ya see the way her middle claw arches like that and is longer than the others? Its characteristic of a forest chocobo. Its used to dig into tree roots to keep balance."

Vincent tilted his head away from the bird trying to eat his hair. "So?"

"So this asshole is tryin' to cheat me." The pilot straightened and patted the bird's head. "And that means he's gonna give her to me for 5,000 so ah won't report him."

The man glared at him but nodded. "5,000 gil."

Cid led them away from the man whistling. "Lets go get a nice dinner with the money we saved."


	9. Late

Yuffie glared at the clock on the wall as if it were the cause of all the evil in the world. "Why aren't they here yet?"

"We still don't know." Barret growled. "We didn't know five minutes ago, we don't know now."

"Cid was supposed to take me shopping!" She whined. "We were gonna have shop talk and hang out!"

The phone ringing made all the bar's occupants pause. Tifa could be heard answering it and speaking. "Yuffie! Its Cid!"

"Why aren't you here!" The whine in her voice was horrible. "You promised to be here an hour ago!" She tapped her foot impatiently before its stilled. "Is he okay?"

The others whipped around to look at her. "Is who okay? Is Vincent hurt?"

Yuffie waved them off. "You're sure he'll be alright? No lasting damage?" She sighed in relief. "That's good. Don't scare me like that again! Yeah, we can go out on Friday. Bye!" She hung up the phone and whistled happily.

"Is Vincent okay?" Tifa demanded.

"What? Yeah, Vincent's fine. Why? Did something happen?"

"I don't know! Isn't that why Cid isn't here?"

"Hm? Oh!" Yuffie laughed loudly. "One of his chocobos is sick and he couldn't leave him alone." She walked away, laughing about the possibility of Vincent being hurt.


	10. Bunnies

"I thought you guys were going camping or something this weekend." Shera took a sip from her water bottle.

"We were supposed to go canoeing." Vincent sulked.

"Why aren't you still going?"

"Xena and Rick's eggs hatched." He sighed. "There were some complications so I told Cid we could reschedule."

"That was nice of you." Shera leaned against the back of his chair. "What complications were there?"

Vincent shrugged. "A runt of the litter. Weaker and kind of sickly."

She smiled and shook her head. "He's always had a weakness for bunnies."

"I never understood why baby chocobos were called bunnies."


	11. Duck

"Chief?" Vincent hesitantly called out to his lover. "Are you alright?"

"'M fine!" was the grunted reply.

"Then why are you under the picnic table?" The gunslinger wasn't sure he really wanted to know the answer.

"Ah'm just stayin' out of the way."

"Oh." He continued to stare at the table's chipped and weathered top. "Why?"

"Gambit."

"Xena and Rick's hatchling?" Cid made a noise of agreement. "Why does he have you under a table?"

"Bunnies are proportioned so that they can almost fly, kind of like a chicken."

"So?"

"So you may want to duck." Had Vincent been given more warning, he may have been able to dodge the baby chocobo that slammed into the back of his head.


	12. Unpleasant

Vincent put up with a lot when it came to the chocobos Cid raised. He tolerated the smells from the barn, he didn't mind lending a hand with mucking the stalls, he even accepted that sometimes he would be second priority to his lover. This, however, was where he drew the line.

"No." He hissed flatly at the man before him.

"But Vince-"

"No, Cid." The gunslinger glared at him. "I will ignore the way the yard always stinks and the fact that you've ruined six carpets by bleeding on them. I will even forgive you for forgetting our anniversary because Jilly was sick. But I _will not_ tolerate sharing our bed with a bunny!"


	13. Cardio

Whenever the others came over for a visit they harped on Cid about his drinking and smoking, saying he was going o give himself a heart attack. Then Yuffie would usually pipe up and tell him Vincent was too pretty to be a widow and earn a smack to the head.

Cid would then assure them all that he wouldn't be suffering any heart failure any time soon. The smoking was canceled out by all the exercise he got by caring for the chocobos and saving the " Gods damned world from damn idiots. Now drink yer damn tea". Sometimes when he was really drunk he would tell Vincent that the only reason his heart would fail was because it would be so full of love for him it would burst.

Vincent generally agreed with the pilot in that the excessive consumption of poisons would not be the death of him. No, he figured it'd be the marathon running he did everyday while chasing his birds that did him in.


	14. Missing You

Vincent growled as his cell rang shrilly in the early morning hour. He groped around blindly before managing to find it and bringing it up to his ear. "Hello?"

"Shit did ah wake you up?"

"Chief?" He glared at the clock beside his bed. "What time is it there?"

"Probably the same time it is there."

"Is everything okay? Did one of the chocobos die?" Vincent sat up and started to freak out. "Did the house burn down?"

"What? No, Vince calm down." Cid laughed nervously. "Nothin's wrong. Just missed yah."

The gunslinger ran a hand over his face and smiled. "You _missed _me?"

"And now ah'm hangin' up."

"Love you too Chief." He chuckled as he ended the call.


	15. Danger

"Cid are you sure its safe to let the kids play with the chocobos?" Tifa watched worriedly as Marlene approached Tanya.

Cid waved off her concern and kept attempting to light the barbecue. "Its fahn. Stop worryin."

"But -"

"As long as they leave Rasput alone it'll be fahn." He crowed in delight when as it finally lit. "Told ya I didn't need magic to do it!"

Cloud dug through the cooler. "And which one is Rasput?"

"The green one." The pilot dumped various forms of meat onto the grill. "He's a li'l aggressive."

"Green one-DENZEL! Get away from that chocobo right now!" Tifa screeched before bolting over to the pen.

"When are you gonna tell her he's only aggressive to squirrels and dogs?" Cloud handed him a beer.

"When she stops freakin out ." He flipped a burger.


End file.
